


i've drowned and dreamt this moment

by HaveYouSeenATimeLord



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Angst, M/M, Poor Grantaire, all he wants is one touch is that too much to ask?, all media types but mostly movie, and one-sided, bcuz its grantaire, grantaire is emotionally blocked, i havent gotten that far in the brick, probably ooc a bit because i dont understand them, so musical!verse, well e/R is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 03:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveYouSeenATimeLord/pseuds/HaveYouSeenATimeLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alcohol helps him through his bad times. Most of the time it numbs him. But sometimes, like tonight, it makes him hyper-aware of things around him. Like how Enjolras deliberately stays away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've drowned and dreamt this moment

“Grantaire!”

Grantaire snapped his head, momentarily dazed by the movement (and by Enjolras’s voice). He stood up clumsily from the table, stumbling for a moment before he got a grip on the edge.

Enjolras scoffed at him. “Put down your drink and do something…useful.” Grantaire fell back into his chair. Why didn’t Enjolras see that he couldn’t do anything useful? Drinking was all he was good for, was all he did, was all he could do. Grantaire couldn’t even manage to join a revolution for his friends; he could only do it for Enjolras.

Enjolras. That guiding beacon of light that Grantaire hoped to reach some day. He sighed as he stared into the depths of his drink. What was the point of it all, he thought, when the man who you love will never love you back? Never look at you in awe the same way you look at him; never touch you in that tender way you so long for. Just a single touch was all he wanted. A hand pressed briefly to a shoulder, an arm bushing an arm. Simple contact. But this would never happen, not to Grantaire, and certainly not coming from Enjolras!

Yes, all he had was his drink. No soul cared for him, and one never would; not if he continued to drain the damn bottle!

There was a reason he drank. It numbed him. He couldn’t feel the outside world when he was drunk. Couldn’t feel the pain and suffering. Couldn’t feel the sting of rejection. Numb was good, because you couldn’t feel anything.

The worst times, though, were when the alcohol sharpened his senses. He could see everything, and he noticed everything. He saw how close his friends were, without having to take care of a drunken fool. He saw how they all made their plans with such joy and optimism, that Grantaire could never willingly dredge to the surface of his godforsaken soul. But mostly he noticed how Enjolras would give small smiles to his friends, and soft touches that conveyed brotherly affection. He noticed, once again, how Enjolras would avoid Grantaire in these, however brief, emotional exchanges. It was one of these nights.

Grantaire slammed his bottle down, making it shatter on the table, the drink spilling across the surface and pooling. Everyone turned to look at the corner that he was sitting in, shocked by the noise. Grantaire stood up slowly and deliberately and pushed his chair backwards, making it clatter to the floor. He took a step, and then another, toward his friends. When he reached them, they smiled, and he smiled back. He heard Enjolras clear his throat and looked at the leader. Enjolras made his way towards Grantaire as they others males’ conversations began again. Enjolras stood next to the shorter man and, without saying a word, rested his hand on Grantaire’s shoulder. Warmth spread through Grantaire and for once he was glad that the alcohol hadn’t made him numb.

In the back of the café, the shattered bottle was forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm open to fic prompts for les mis or any fandom at dwightfryes.tumblr.com


End file.
